just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
