I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
...so i touched it.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
