i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
