billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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