Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize