new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
