my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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