she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize