I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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