no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
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You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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