I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
