sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
