Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
