also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
