Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize