I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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