and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
