Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you traded sex for a burrito?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
