He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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