so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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