Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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