In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
