Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize