It was confusing and full of hummus
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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