I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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