Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
