i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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