Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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