Life is so much better after having sex.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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