So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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