Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
