Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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