So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
