Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
