it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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