Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize