If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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