i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
