just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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