If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
