Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
