i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize