What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
