It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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