It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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