On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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