I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
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we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
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She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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