I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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