Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just want nice things and good sex
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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