The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Damn victory sex feels great
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
