how can u be prego again
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize