you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
