Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
