just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize