Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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