ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
