Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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