There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
