Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
