Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
