this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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