If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
