Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The air was thick with penises
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
