The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
