the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Do vagina's smell?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Randomize
