Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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