I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
