It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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