Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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